Positivity is the champagne in the mimosa of life. Potty humor is the orange juice.

I’m home alone this week. Except for Monday I’ve gotten up for work every day, taken out the garbage AND the recycling, put dishes in the dishwasher, watered the lawn and given the dog her medicine everyday without fail. Look at me go.

cindyisawkward:

This means a lot to me in this moment. I think I’m gonna go cry now. 

This show was on drugs but they were the happy kind of drugs.

cindyisawkward:

This means a lot to me in this moment. I think I’m gonna go cry now. 

This show was on drugs but they were the happy kind of drugs.

(Source: slimgiltsoul)

comedycentralstandup:

Your Joke of the Day from John Mulaney. Watch the full clip here. 

comedycentralstandup:

Your Joke of the Day from John Mulaney. Watch the full clip here

floozys:

boys will be bo-“

*flies in* 

*punches you in the face*

bOYS WILL BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE 

I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.

—Flannery O’Connor (via psych-facts)

One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels.

—Flaubert (via psych-facts)

turtles-r-freakn-fantastic:

tumblegags:

OMG, HE’S HELPING HIM BACK INTO THE OCEAN 

image

True Love Ocean Style !!

(Source: )

lecterings:

'where is the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago' an autobiography i'll never write because i keep losing the pen i was using like 3 seconds ago.

kingsleyyy:

this hedgehog is cheering for u bc u can do anything image